Well

We had sex. We shouldn't have, but we did. I felt shitty about it first but not so much anymore. And he's sexy so way to go, me.

But we're done. We ended things, rather he made the final decision, because he didn't want us to become "too attached". I think the reason I'm the most disappointed is because I don't open myself up freely with a lot of people, but I found myself instantly doing so with him. He was one of the few people that I've been 100% comfortable around, and that's something that's kind of rare for me.

We don't talk at all anymore, despite the fact that he made me promise him we'd still be good friends. He didn't come to my grad party (I shouldn't have taken it personally, because there were so many that day, but i did). He called me at 3 am last night (drunk, I can only assume) but I was asleep.

But I'm living my life. Taking things day by day. It's summer, so I'm happy.

The Fact That I Still Have No Idea What's Going On Makes This Increasingly More Complicated As The Days Go By

But what I do know is that I'm happy. And honestly, I'm really not worried about where this is going. Everyone keeps asking me what's going on between us, and I just shrug because that's really all I can give them. This year I've discovered just how content I am on my own. So if this ends up becoming something we both decide to commit to, great. If not, whatever. Either way, I know that I can be happy as the independent person I've become.

It's been about a month since we've started talking and hanging out. We really get along well. We don't have a whole lot in common, but our personalities just click. And I think that's what's genuinely important. I once had a bit of a thing with someone who's every interest was exactly the same as mine, but I was never comfortable around him because his personality just did not mesh well with mine.

I look forward to the eye contact in the hallway. When we cross paths and lock hands for just a second. When I'm laying on your chest and we're talking and you brush my hair out of my eyes. It feels good. It all feels good. It feels...familiar. Like I'm regaining what I used to have two years ago. That completely comfortable, happy bubble.

Prom is tomorrow.

"I don't really care if you hook up with other people, we can't have a thing."

Texting me 24/7.
Talking on the phone for hours at a time.
Hanging out multiple times a week.
Public displays of affection at parties on the weekends.

If that's not a "thing", then what the fuck is?