There's A First For Everything

Had my first one night stand last night.
I literally look like a victim of domestic violence because my neck is just destroyed by hickeys.
It wasn't great. I kind of regret it. And it scares me a little that I only kind of regret it.
But it's Scarf Week thanks to the vampire bites on my neck, and I've decided to take a break from drinking for a while. It was getting old anyway.

I've met someone who seems to be genuinely interested in me. He's smart and cute and has traveled a ton and speaks both French and Spanish. We talked about music and movies for hours, but I'm not letting myself get even a little excited because in the past, getting my hopes up has never lead to anything good. Also this guy seems a little too good to be true (especially for me) so I'm just going to go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens.

My dad called me at 10:30 the night of my birthday. I was drinking with friends and he happened to be completely hammered. How ironic. I'd never talked to my dad drunk before, but hearing him slur his words and cry to me about how much he misses me just angered me more than anything. I yelled at him to get his shit together and be the adult in our relationship and hung up the phone. He is such a pathetic excuse for a human being that it sickens me. I refuse to let him have any part in my life from now on. How could I forgive him for that? Waiting until late at night to call me from a bar, while blackout drunk? After the phone call I went back into the room with all my friends and took more shots. That sounds like a pretty backwards reaction to what I'd just experienced. But I wanted to forget about him and enjoy what was left of my birthday. But I swear I will never let myself become my father. And I'll end this post with a big "fuck you" and goodnight.