I am ankle deep in loneliness.
My steps are heavy
But I am the only one who can really tell
I can feel the weight on my shoulders, looming over me, as it always does.
I go about my day, pretending not to notice.
Things are okay, sometimes.
Good days are not yet tainted
By the imminence.

I am knee deep in loneliness.
The weight has become a constant jabbing
Just to make sure
I haven't forgotten about it
(I haven't).
Laughs, floating around the thick midnight darkness,
Will fade out
And dancing will quickly become nothing more than me and a bottle in the corner
As far away from the world as I can get
Until my leash,
Binding and overwhelming,
Gives me a sharp tug back to reality.

I am waist deep in loneliness.
The weight, growing heavier by the minute,
Is no longer invisible.
It washes over me like a wave
And makes itself known
Hovering like a sinisterly soft grey fog.
My eyes have lost their light
And when I look in the mirror
All I can see are the dark circles
Hollowing me out.

I am neck deep in loneliness.
There is a ringing in my ears
That blares when others' mouths move
Emptying out their own fears
While mine squirm inside me
And nest deep in the lobes of my brain
I have no more fight within myself
So I succumb to the darkness
And let it
Swallow
Me
Whole.