In My Dream

In my dream I am crawling
My limbs are stiff but strong, arms packed with smooth, firm muscle overtaking my shoulders and neck
My fingernails are caked with dirt and blood and something yellow but I carry myself on
Amused but not surprised by my strength.
I have a purpose, and my body stands warm against the steady breeze
I can smell you
I can taste you on the smooth of my long, twisted tongue
My mouth is dripping and my teeth are clenching
You are nowhere around, not buried in the dirt or blowing among the trees
But I know I can feel you.
I open my eyes and I crawl across the covers to your still, pale body
Your skin is like marble and I carefully trace the small bodies of water that hold your pooling blood
My nails are clean and my arms are thin
And I am cold without your warmth
I slip the weight of you onto my hands and you fall through like rain water
I am digging into the mattress, turning over pillows, ripping through the bed sheets.

I could never really hold onto you,
Even in my dream.