Saturday night was cold and damp, but when the smoke filled my lungs I started to forget the cold and focus on the luke-warm beer in my hand. We laid close together on the couch, under a flannel blanket. Your hand was around my waist and my head was laying on your chest and we sat and talked about our favorite colors and hobbies and silly things we do when no one's watching. And we kissed and kissed and clasped our hands together and you told me I had pretty eyes as you tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
But now I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because of something I was informed of late last night. I would rather know, but now my bliss has vanished completely and been replaced with worry. She is nothing like me, short and blonde and bubbly, while I stand tall at 5'11" with brown wild hair and a quiet and sometimes awkward personality. What I hope is that you're over this ex of yours and that two Saturdays ago was just a drunken mistake, but I'm also smart enough to be cautious. Niether of us want anything long term. But he wants to get to know me more because he thinks I'm awesome. He called me Cait, which makes me smile, because only one of my closest friends calls me Cait.
It feels exactly like it did when things were first starting up with my first boyfriend. Absorbing everything about each other. Texts during school telling me that I look pretty in what I'm wearing that day. This has bad news written all over it.
I'm scared out of my mind of what this could do to damage the strength that I've worked so hard to build up. Excited to have this feeling back that I haven't experienced in about a year. Unsure of how to even handle this situation. Hoping I'm not as naive as I used to be.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment