A Few Things To Update

When I'm driving down Edgewood or getting dressed in the morning or listening to James Blake my mind drifts off and you're usually the first thing that comes to mind. I guess I miss you more than I thought I would. Saying goodbye was odd because it seemed more of a "see you later" than a "this is over". I'm looking forward to the letters you'll write me from France.

But god, I wish you would let me go. Out of the few break ups I've gone through, I've been the needy one afterwards. I've been the one who's broken down with drunk texts late at night or multiple "I miss you"s. This time I'm trying, trying so hard, to forget about you...but you won't let me. You've consistently texted me every night, as if to remind me that you're still around and that you're not going to let this go that easily. Funny how that works. And what did you mean by "who knows what the future will hold"? That's not fair. That's not fair of you to just say that and not expand on what you meant. You've always been like that, always have had your guard up with me. I wish you would put down your armor for just a little while so I would actually know the extent of what you've felt for me these past 3 months.

But my game plan, as of right now, is to focus on getting over you. I went on two dates on Thursday. It was weird, but refreshing to talk to new people. I don't know.

I'm home for a month. I've been reading a lot. I'm trying to get back into playing the piano. And I'd like to start using my film camera again. I'm trying to keep busy. Maybe I'll start writing again, like I did when I was younger. Who knows.