I'm Going To Talk About Something Other Than My Love Life

I've been talking a lot about Seth lately so I'm going to change it up. Because I am interested in more than boys, you know.

As I've mentioned to a couple people, I haven't really made any solid friends since I've been at college. Of course I have Ellen here, which I'm so grateful for. But it's hard when it feels like everyone else is making all of these new and exciting people and I'm not. I know that a lot of it has to do with the floor of girls I live with. Because they're all retarded as fuck. And so annoying. I'm polite to them when I see them in the halls but while I'm in my room trying to study or sleep and they're yipping (literally yipping, much like little squeaky dogs) it's hard not to fantasize about punching each and every one of them square in the face. So the day I move out of this dorm is the day I will rejoice to the motherfucking almighty. Also, I do have some really awesome guy friends who I LOVE to hang out with. They're seriously the best and I'd consider a few of them some of my best friends. But sometimes I'd really just like to have some girl friends to relate to. For example, going out with my guy friends on the weekend is pretty bomb, but it gets weird being the only girl sometimes. And, hey, how can you blame me for wanting to have some "girl talk" from time to time?

But I've gotten over this whole not-making-any-girl-friends thing. I don't really give a shit anymore, because I don't have a whole lot of time to spend with friends. And the most important girls in my life, no matter the distance, will always be there to talk. And that eases my mind.

And I'm really loving my life in Cedar Falls. Which is kind of weird to think about, because even though A) I don't really have a whole lot of friends and B) the one person who I spend the majority of my time with is moving to France in five days, I'm still really happy here. And I think I'm just really happy to be...learning, as nerdy as that makes me sound. I never really tried or gave a shit in high school, and it feels so awesome to actually CARE. I love feeling so accomplished and feeling like I'm doing something worthwhile with my life. And as difficult as anatomy is sometimes, and as much as I complain and bitch about it, it's making me really really excited to go into nursing. I feel so fortunate have chosen a major that I'm certain I won't be switching out of. And I have to devote WAY more of my time to studying than any of my other friends, but it feels good. It feels really good.

Also, I think just being around new people all the time makes me generally happy. I like being in a lecture hall filled with people I don't know. I like the potential that that situation holds. College has made me a much more social being. There have been quite a few times this year where I've found some cool people that were complete strangers to me, contacted them in some way, and told them that they seemed pretty chill and that we should hang out sometime. That sounds like such a cheesy, cliched scenario, but whatever. I mean, it works so I don't give a fuck. A year ago I would've never had the balls to do that.

I really don't know what it is about Cedar Falls, but this place just makes me happy. I like being up here, doing my own thing. Being responsible. Being an adult. Of course, like everyone, I sometimes wish I didn't have to worry about shit and just lounge in my bed eating Doritos and watching my Friends DVDs, of course. But for the most part, I'd say life is good.