Bullshit

I am sick of people's bullshit. I am completely and totally exhausted from pouring my heart out to people then having to go along with the charade they're playing. The one where they act like they even sort of care about the fact that my mouth is moving and words are coming out. I am then socially obligated to respond and act ever-so grateful for their generic comments and fake concern. Bullshit. One hundred percent mastered bullshit. Social media is toxic and sickens me further because self-important people rant on about their opinions as if they know exactly what's what and as if they will better the world if they share it. But the one particular spoonful of bullshit I can't swallow is the look people give me when I talk to them about my love life. Since I was sixteen years old I've been in and out of relationships thanks to my own emotional damage and confusion. And ever since then I've been continuously watering down my stories and problems just to avoid the uncomfortable silences of friends who are too busy judging and criticizing me in their heads to respond like a genuine human being and friend. I think that I, more than anyone, am aware of how messy, back and forth, and fucked up my life has been lately but that is my own concern. I haven't even begun to explain to my any one person the whole story behind what I've been going through for the past month or so and I probably never will, because what I have told them has caused glances that make me want to gauge out my own eyeballs so I don't have to endure their stares any longer. If you have something to say about the fact that you think I'm ruining my life, say it so that I can angrily correct you. If not, be a friend and show support even if I'm fucking every guy in the tristate area. But either way I'm certainly not going to continue trying to justify my own actions and make excuses for myself so that you're more at ease when I talk about my life. If you haven't been in my situation, then you don't get an opinion on how I'm doing it wrong.