Clarity

Lately I have been
Quiet
Introspective
I’ve taken a step away from everything for a while in the hopes of clearing my head
Things had gotten too messy
Two weeks ago I had no idea what I wanted, but I knew I could no longer go on living the way I was.
Sometimes I get so caught up in the idea of something
The excitement of something
That I lose clarity completely.
I was lured in and completely captivated for all the wrong reasons.
There he was
Handsome
Young
Interesting
Adventurous
And he wanted me?
Somewhere inside my 15 year old self was in awe and a state of ultimate and paralyzing flattery.
So
I ventured away
I immersed myself into a cool and deep pool of enchantment.
Finally
After heaving myself out of the water
After the water had cleared from my eyes
I realized that the enchantment wasn't quite what I thought it would be.
I felt foolish
And I was left standing on my own
Dripping wet with disappointment.
I desperately longed for everything I had so quickly and willingly given up:
Warmth
Comfort
Love.
I spent time alone for a while until I had reached my moment of clarity:
What's really important is to find someone who loves you
On both your good days
And your bad
And stick by them
Because they'll always stick by you.
I always make an honest effort to learn from my mistakes
And now I know that the one who inspires me
Who held my hand when my face was a mess
Who motivates me
Who moves me
Should never be taken for granted.
I am my own person
I finally feel deep down that that's true
But I like being my own with you.