Ghost

I always feel a bit lost.
It is never the sort of 'lost' feeling that breaks through my soul with screaming fury, but more like a dull and constant throbbing that never seems to disappear.
I am torn between leaving forever and thus finally taking the next step to my own true happiness, and staying behind and tied down for one more summer.
I shouldn't feel torn at all
The answer should seem clear
I just have a nagging feeling that I cannot leave until I find peace in this place.
Like a ghost:
Ghosts tend to linger in their original place of habitat until they feel they have satisfied every necessary aspect of their life.
Well if this is true, then my soul is a ghost lingering on
Moaning and floating in one place
Unable to rise into the never-ending sky
Until it faces its fate.
But my soul is ridden with even more troubles
Because its fate is simply unknown.
What do I need to do to be able to let go?
Why do I feel a pull keeping me tied down to this toxic environment?
It's grinding me to dust
It's suffocating me
Yet I can't help but feel that staying could finally turn things around.
But the realistic and cynical part of me knows that things can't and won't change.
When I'm here, I fear I will always feel unimportant, unnoticed, and simply second best.